He had a plan...thought about Christmas by Rosemary

He had a plan….Christmas thoughts

Often I struggle with some of the concepts and thoughts about Christmas that are presented year after year, not only in the secular world but in the Christian arena too. I have nothing against cute nativity plays, artistic manger scenarios etc, but they don’t seem to connect at a deeper level.

Christmas messages are sometimes, not always of course but sometimes, sugar-coated or unrealistic. The expectations of everyone in general seem to be that it should be a magical time when none of the usual hard, nasty and real things happen. Everyone would like to believe in ‘goodwill to all men’ and Santa Claus, but of course it never is like that, bad stuff still happens. Humans, like leopards, don’t magically change their spots, earthquakes, disasters, illnesses etc don’t stand back and wait for Christmas to come and go before they happen, and we are constantly disappointed.

So I wanted to think about Christmas a different way this year. We are celebrating an amazing, awesome, life changing event in the chequered history of this world. When I move aside the tinsel and trappings of Christmas I am astounded again at what actually happened.

Our God, the almighty…powerful-beyond-imagination….God who designed, created and sustains the universe had a plan!!! From the dawn of time, from the first human failure and betrayal, he had a plan for his beloved creation, for mankind. Despite our obstinacy and sinfulness, he wanted us to enjoy his indescribable love, to be able to be in a deep and intimate relationship with us, he wanted us to be able to live as he designed us to live, in communion and love with himself.

So he had a plan, an audacious, stunning and awesomely loving plan to come and live among us, as one of us; To share our burdens, disappointments, temptations and to bring his perfect kingdom into our imperfect world; to take onto himself and bear the consequences of his own anger at our rebellion and sinfulness.

The plan took hundreds of years to bring to fruition…and then the time was right!!!! The time was perfect!!! He did something awesome…our omnipotent God took the form of a human, coming in the most vulnerable way as a helpless dependant baby, to share our lives on this planet from the start, dependant on and at the mercy of inexperienced humans.

The angels couldn’t help but burst out as they saw the beautiful, awesome God bring his plan to fruition.

‘Wow!!! You people on earth, do you realise what has just happened!! Do you not understand what an amazing thing has happened…you are just so lucky!!!! You are being given the chance to be alive with your creator. Don’t you realise the magnitude of what he is doing for you…Can’t you see who has come among you…. don’t you humans understand!!’

A cry for help

A cry for help

Lord I can’t do it anymore

I’ve tried – I’m trying

But it is too much

I am failing

Trying to keep it together

Trying to do and be good

Trying to help

Maybe I’m just being trying

With all the clever wise words

That accomplishes nothing

All the good intentions

Which vanish like a mist

Who am I – what am I?

When I think I have it together

I am confused with fragments

When I think I understand

My logic falters and fails

When I think I love

My heart ends up bleeding

Oh where am I my Lord?

Only you can hold me together

Wherever, whatever that is

Only You, Lord, know my true heart

And yet you love me still

Thank you.

To live loved...a poem by rosemary

To live loved

So often what I know by head
My heart can not get round
Your love for me is something Lord
I find hard to understand
I long so much to be secure
To feel certain that I am yours
Yet echoes from my painful heart
Keep leaving me unsure.

Oh yes I know you love me Lord
I’m told so many times
Then I think that other’s needs
Mean more to you than mine

So thank you Lord for telling me
With patient loving care
Your love for me is just unique
Just yours and mine to share
There is a ‘me’ place in your heart
That only I can fill
And I can rest within that place
Secure and safe and still

Your heart of love is infinite
Is endless, perfect, true
You love us each uniquely Lord
Each one-on-one with you
There is a place within your heart
That only we can fill
And as we learn to live life loved
We learn to love as well.

From A High Place......A short story by Rosemary

FROM

A HIGH PLACE

I stood on the high plateau, the air was fresh and clean, and I breathed deeply admiring the truly marvelous view from this lofty place. The climb up to this spot had been one of the hardest things I had ever done. It had taken me a very long time, and an awful lot of pain, but now I had arrived. I felt quite proud of my achievement, and felt quite justified in that feeling. Below was the smog, the filth and slime from which I had escaped and the stench which had all but suffocated me. Was it hours, days or years ago when I had begun my climb? I couldn’t tell, but now I was high above it all in this wonderful clear air, on this smooth plateau, which seemed to stretch as far as the eye could see.

Glancing down I saw someone struggling up the slope. The slime from the valley below was still covering his feet and hands making it difficult for him to keep his grip and his feet kept slipping. As I watched his struggles a number of thoughts went through my mind. First I felt a slight irritation that someone else was climbing up to my plateau. I felt a degree of possessiveness for this spot, now someone else was aiming to share it with me. Then, I am ashamed to admit, I felt rather contemptuous of his efforts, comparing them, (in my mind), to my own much superior climbing abilities

I turned away and tried to recapture the pleasure and delight I had felt so strongly only moments ago. Somehow the intensity of those feelings seemed less pleasurable now. My thoughts turned to God. Surely now I had reached such heights I must be so much closer to God, we could now talk face to face. I looked around as if expecting him to be right behind me. What I saw was so overwhelming, so amazing that I fell to my knees in wonder, awe and shame.

I now saw clearly what this ‘plateau’ really was, and understood how I came to be here. I remembered how in my struggle to climb I had been aware of Gods presence helping me, encouraging me. I hadn’t really been a particularly good climber at all. What I saw now caused me to tremble. Because I understood at last that The Great Almighty God, my awesome Heavenly Father had seen me as I wallowed in the filth and slime of the stinking valley below, and he had loved me. He, who is far greater than the heavens and the earth, had in His indescribable mercy and grace, reached down to me from his throne above and plucked me off the rubbish dump of life. The plateau I now stood upon, the place I had struggled up to with His help and guidance was in actual fact the palm of his hand. 

Now with a clearer sense of my own unworthiness and The Lords awesome greatness and majesty, I turned again to look at my brother still struggling up, and reached out to help him.    

Poems from an up and down week....by Rosemary

This week has been a bit up and down, and the downs were just about as low as they get, to the point of feeling like giving up. Yet through the depression, weariness and tears God still keeps his hand on me. When I can't 'see' him through the gloom and my mind plays tricks on my logic and reason, then His 'Rod and Staff' still comfort me. When all I can do is cry out, his hand is there to strengthen me and help me carry on. The weariness doesn't necessarily vanish, but I am not alone.

The following are two poems from this week's struggle. They may be a bit rough around the edges, but maybe they will resonate and hopefully encourage someone else, somewhere, sometime, somehow.

Waves

Waves of despair wash over me

I am so close, so close to giving up

Logic and sense fight through the darkness

Only to be washed away in helplessness

Oh Lord, I cry out to you

I cannot carry on

I long so much for quick escape

From this ache deep in my heart

Weariness and sadness leak from my eyes

Anger and frustration too

As I face my weakness once again

Lord I need some light from you

I need your help so much my God

Don’t let go through all my gloom

Stay always ever at my side

Change the waves to those of mercy soon.

---------------------------------------------------------

Longing

Oh to see your beauty Lord

To recognise your face

To understand and hear your voice

To frolic in your grace

Oh Lord, to walk close by your side

To feel your presence near

And to experience your love

Free from all doubts and fears

I long to know you’re really here

Your evidence to show

So others see and sense and hear

And long to know you too

Time with Him......a short story by Rosemary

Time with Him

It was still quite dark but the promise of dawn was beginning to brighten up the horizon as I made my way to his door. As usual I was thinking of what had to be done that day and checked my watch to see if I had allowed myself time for this morning visit. There was so much I needed to talk to him about and ask him about, so much weighing down on my mind, so many tears welling up close to the surface ready to spill over. I knew I needed to spend more time with him.

As I reached his door I pulled the list I had written out of my pocket and checked my watch again, so much to do so much to say. I knocked on the door and waited for just a moment, then did what I had done so many times before and shoved my list roughly through his letter box and hurried down the road still carrying my burden of care. Vaguely I was aware of his door opening; I glanced back as I hurried around the corner and caught sight of him standing there my list in his hand and a sad smile on his face.

Next morning there I was again approaching his door, I knew I shouldn’t just post my list through his letterbox, I knew I needed to talk to him face to face, so I knocked and waited until he opened the door. His smile when he saw me was so warming. He opened the door wider and invited me inside. I could see a table laid for two and a delicious breakfast feast laid out. The smell of good food and the warmth from inside his home were so inviting I was really tempted to stay, but obviously he was expecting someone or he had a visitor already so I just handed him my list of requests thanked him for his time and quickly turned away and hurried on to start my day. I looked back as I turned the corner to give him a wave and I noticed him shaking his head sadly as he went back inside.

Yet the pain and anguish still remained in my heart, I really knew I shouldn’t just give him a list of my cares I knew I needed to talk to him properly as I have before, not just a quick hello but a real conversation. I knew I needed to listen to him. I remembered that whenever I spent quality time with him my heart grew peaceful even when my problems remained. So the next morning as I approached his door I determined that if he invited me in I really needed to accept his invitation and stay awhile with him. I knocked as usual, maybe he was so fed up with my rude behaviour he wouldn’t want anything to do with me anymore. The door opened and he smiled at me with his usual welcome and put his hand out to receive my list.

“I haven’t made a list today”, I said “I was hoping I could come in and talk like we used to”.

His smile grew wider and I saw, much to my surprise, a look of joy on his face - was that for me? I wondered. He ushered me into the warmth of his home. Again I saw a table set for two, and immediately felt awkward, obviously he was expecting someone, and I asked him if he had time for me as he must have a guest coming for breakfast. He laughed at that and said,

“This is for you. Each morning I expect you, each morning I long for you to stay and share what I have prepared for you. Each morning I long to listen to you and have you listen to me, come sit awhile, I know full well what you need to do today but time spent with me will not be wasted or lost. I long to strengthen you, teach you, encourage you. Come to me with your burdens and I will give you rest; I will quieten you with my love and rejoice over you with singing. You are my child and I love it when we spend time together. My child, remember I am always here for you and I love you. You do not have to face the day alone”.

Always, forever, constant

Always, forever, constant

My child listen

My love is

Always

Forever

Constant

My arms are strong

I can hold you

I hear your unvoiced cry

I know you

Each day I will reveal myself to you

Even when you do not see me

I am here

Always

Forever

Constant

I will not change my mind

I will not turn from you

Trust me, and remember

My love is

Always

Forever