My Heart

My heart

My heart feels like an open wound

The pain is overwhelming

I drown beneath the pulsing flood

As life drains out around me,

My fault, this pain I suffer now

My sin, my weakness caused it

My longing for more special love

That caused this wound to open,

I opened up this heart of mine

A bit too much for friendship

So now I struggle to repair

And mend it’s ragged edges.

Oh Lord, I’m sorry, help me please

Forgive and heal I beg you.

Please teach me how to be a friend

Not lapsing to obsession,

I find this loving people hard

To get balance right

I want to learn to love like you

So I’ll give you this bleeding heart.

 

 

lonely

Lonely one

The little child sat alone, on the outside

Watching others play together

She felt left out, different and insecure.

In her hand was a little sandwich

Just her simple homemade lunch

The others saw she had some ‘goodies’

Soon they gathered all about

‘I will be your friend’, they promised

‘If you share your lunch around’

So she gave away her sandwich

Happy for a little while

Then when it was gone, all finished

The others left her all alone.

‘So why?’ the teacher asked the youngster

‘Do you give your lunch away?’

‘It’s simple really’, said the said sad one

‘For a moment at least they let me play’

‘For a brief time they are friendly’

‘So I don’t feel quite so alone’.

The child grew into a young woman

Who still longed and yearned for love

She still thought that someone may love her

If she gives them what they want

Now years have passed for that child-woman

Many lessons she has learned

But deep inside a lonely child lurks

Feeling apart and left outside

Convinced she has nothing to offer

Nothing to give to ‘earn’ some love

Expecting friends to up and leave her

When someone better comes along,

Alone she weeps, alone she longs

To feel she really is worth something

And doesn’t need to earn their love