Wednesday 22 February 2012

Mary and Martha


Mary’s Gift


I am sure he understands what I have done.

He knows that this perfume I have poured over his feet is a gift of love. Some of the others here, his friends, are angry with me because of my actions. This perfume was very expensive and they see it as a waste of money, but I know he understands and that is all that really matters.

I love this man so much; I have never known what it feels like to have this kind of love in my heart towards someone before. It is so different from any feelings I have ever had towards any other man; so different and so wonderful.

He rescued me from a very bad place in my life. He alone has looked into the very darkest places of my soul, yet he has only ever offered me grace and mercy - never condemnation. He gave me hope to live again, showed me God’s forgiveness. I enjoy nothing better than to sit quietly at his feet and listen to him talk. His words both thrill me and confuse me.

I do truly believe he is the Messiah, the promised one and the very Son of God. How can I not when he brings God’s power into our own home? My brother Lazarus was dead, we were mourning him, we had hoped Jesus would have come and healed him, yet Lazarus was lying in a tomb by the time he got here, however Jesus stunned us all; he had the stone in front of the tomb rolled back, then he called out to Lazarus and my brother walked out alive! Jesus takes my breath away and I love him so.

More and more lately he has been talking about what must happen to him soon. He tells us plainly that he will die. I can’t bear the thought that this lovely, amazing man, my Lord, has to die. I don’t really understand. It is true that he has made quite a lot of enemies amongst the religious leaders, they are jealous of his popularity with the people, and don’t like some of his teaching, especially when it makes them look bad. Yet the thought of something happening to him breaks my heart, I love him so. I just wish I could somehow keep him safe so he could be here with us always, but I know his heart is set on what he must do, what God wants him to do. He is determined to go forward and face whatever awaits him, and that he tells us, will be his death. Yet he also talks of his resurrection, he even told my sister Martha that he himself is the resurrection and the life.

I don’t really understand any of this completely, but in my heart I know that whatever occurs it won’t be the end, somehow something will happen, God will do something, just look at what happened to my brother. What I do know is that when he talks about his coming death my heart breaks and I feel that somehow things will never be the same again for any of us.

That is why I have poured this anointing oil on him now. It was intended for a burial, his burial, but I feel it would be wasted then - when he is lying cold in a tomb. I want him to be able to enjoy this perfume now. I want him to know that this gift I am pouring out at his feet is my heart’s way of saying; ‘Go – do as you must, and may it be as you say. My heart lets you go although I don’t fully understand why this must be. You have my love, devotion and respect my Lord and may this gift that I pour out at your feet be a comfort to your heart’.

I know he understands what I have done.


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Martha’s Gift

I am sure he understands my gift to him.

I love with all my heart this man who is sitting at my table. I wish I could serve him this way every day of my life. I love what he has done for me and my family, especially the way he has just stood up for Mary when the others were angry with her for pouring out that expensive perfume on his feet. I understood what she was doing and so did he. She loves him so much too; he has made such a difference in her life – in all our lives really.

I realise that sometimes I get a bit caught up in all the cooking and serving, I don’t always stop and listen to what Jesus is talking about. I hear bits and pieces of the conversations and occasionally I feel missed out. He understands this too. He has talked to me in the past about this, about what is really important. I love it when he does talk to me face to face. He is so direct, he doesn’t talk down to me, and he really connects with my heart.

For instance, just recently when my brother Lazarus got sick and died; I couldn’t understand why Jesus hadn’t come to heal him. He healed all sorts of people and Lazarus was his friend, so why hadn’t he come to heal him? As it turned out my brother had been in his tomb for four days before Jesus and his friends finally arrived. I knew he loved Lazarus so I asked him why he hadn’t come sooner. He spoke directly to me then, he told me clearly that he was the resurrection and the life, that everyone who believed in him would not die but have eternal life. Even though Lazarus was lying cold in his tomb, Jesus words warmed my heart and gave me hope. I loved that he spoke to me of who he was so clearly, not in riddles. I felt honoured by the respect he had for my intelligence, that he felt able to talk to me in this way.

Well I expect you have heard about what happened next, I think everyone around here knows the amazing truth of how Jesus went up to the tomb and called out to my brother and Lazarus walked out of there alive. I still can’t get my head around it all. Jesus takes my breath away, I love him so.

Right now Jesus is in great danger. He has powerful enemies who want him dead. He talks about his coming death more and more, which I find hard. I don’t want this man that I love so much to be in danger or die. I wish I could shelter him forever in my home. I would love nothing better than to be able to serve him here, to cook for him, to take care of his needs, but his heart is set on what must come. I truly believe he is the Messiah, the Son of God, and I know his greatest love is for God and his greatest desire is to do God’s will, and he says it is God’s will that he be handed over to his enemies and put to death. I don’t fully understand this, yet I keep remembering our conversation at Lazarus’ tomb about resurrection.

I understand what Mary has just done, pouring out that perfume which had been intended for his burial. I hope he understands my gift to him too, that he hears what my heart is saying as I serve him, ‘I have poured my love, gratitude and devotion along with my tears, into this meal I have prepared for you. I pray this gift of my service to your needs will warm and comfort your heart’.

I know he understands my gift to him.






Saturday 4 February 2012

More poems by Rosemary

I wonder if anyone reads these things or if they are just floating somewhere in cyberspace. Anyway after a couple of conversations this morning at church, I decided to trawl through my poems searching for a couple of ones that had popped into my mind.

So if you are reading this, here are three more poems which may or may not touch a spot in someones heart.

Of Giants and Grasshoppers

Lord, now look at where you’ve led me,
See, there’s a giant in my path!
He’s really big, mean and ferocious
And I really can’t get past.

Lord, now look at where you’ve led me,
This must be a big mistake.
I think I’ll take a look around me
And find another path to take.

Lord, I’ve just looked where you’ve led me,
Now I see the way is good.
I looked and saw you there beside me
And finally I understood.

This fearsome giant that stands before me,
Compared to you, I realize
Is really not at all much bigger
Than a mere grasshopper’s size  

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In the Night


In the dark night I lie sleeping
Armour discarded by my bed
My sword lying useless on the floor-
That’s when the enemy quietly creeps in,
As in weariness I slumber
I get ambushed yet again.
But you my Lord are still right here
I am shielded by your wing
Never sleeping, always watchful
You are protector, guardian, friend

In the half-light time of dreaming
When the doubts and lies crowd in
In that time of sleepy weakness
That's when the enemy strikes again
But Lord, your love is all around
You’re my shield, my conquering King
I need not fear the darkness
When your love-light burns within

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I WILL LIE DOWN AND REST

I will lie down and rest in peace
For his wing of love is above me
To shelter me

I will lie down and rest in peace
For his mountain of strength surrounds me
To protect me

I will lie down and rest in peace
For his right hand is beneath me
To support me

I will lie down and rest in peace
For his spirit is within me
To quieten me with his love 


Saturday 28 January 2012

facing changes

This year may only be quite new, but seems to be shaping up to be a year of changes.

Changes are things I don't like. I prefer the security of knowing what I am doing, where I am etc, I like my routines and familiar habits, I like having the people around that I have grown used to. Changes are unsettling, disturbing almost painful.

I was bringing this to God in my quiet time this morning, the following 'poem' is what resulted

Facing change

Lord I am afraid of change
Yet it is all around me
I know you know what’s best for me
But please don’t trample over me

Oh child of course I won’t do that
I know your heart – I made you
I know your hesitance and fears
I know your doubts and terrors.
I’ll never trample on your heart
I do not seek to harm you
It’s my arm around you that you feel
As it gently moves you forward
Fear not my child, don’t be dismayed
I’ll never ever leave you


Be still child, I have you in my arms.