Sunday 2 November 2014

struggles with the black dog and God's encouragements

Here are a couple of poems from my heart as I continue to struggle with the black dog of depression and with feelings of uselessness.
Crumbs that sounds inviting doesn't it!!!! but hopefully someone will read these somewhere and know that God won't abandon you, he understands and even when you may feel unlovely and unlovable he still loves you, you belong to him and even when you can't see it for yourself in his eyes you are valuable and have worth.


Do I have a place?

Is there a place for me here Lord?
For the person that I am,
I’m not an extrovert at all
I’m probably not much fun.
It’s not my way to jump and sing
I’d rather quietly pray,
I’m not so good at speaking out
But can you use me somehow, someway?
I feel I’m really not much use
That there’s not a place for me
The others seem to blaze with light
While I flicker weakly here
Yet you will not quench this flickering wick
I read that in your word,
You won’t snuff out my little flame
So into your hands I commit again.

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The Black dog
The black dog of depression
Hangs like a lead weight on my heart
Even times of happiness
Can feel it dragging me apart,
It cripples me, it holds me back
It taints my every thought,
It wearies me with each attack
Traps and drags – again I’m caught
I long to run away from it
And reinvent myself
I long to be free of this pain,
Oh Lord, please heal my heart

His encouragement

The Lord will not leave me to be devoured
He will rescue me, he is here.
He will replace my weeping with his joy
He will bring light to the darkness in my heart
He won’t abandon or leave me.
He is my shepherd, I’m in his flock
I belong to him, he won’t abandon me.
Thank you Lord that your rod and staff
Still comfort me in dark valleys
I will wait for you Lord, for your timing
You will not forsake or leave me.