He is awesome

He is awesome

My God is awesome!

His strength knows no bounds

All power is his, the kingdom is his.

He is the author of all things beautiful

Creator, maker, designer, king

His majesty is beyond imagining

His love is awesome; wonderful and strong

He is my God, I am his creation

My love for him is imperfect

Yet his love for me is unlimited

He is beautiful, majestic and merciful

He is worthy to receive all power and praise.

He is my saviour, redeemer and friend

just a couple more poems to send into cyber space

Just a couple more poems. One is my 'Creed' sort of what I believe. The other one is more how I feel at the moment. Which is like I am a work in progress and I can't see where God is taking me or what his plan is, so I am just trusting that God has a plan and is in control.

My creed

God: Mighty and awesome

Creator of all things, the heavens above

And the earth below

The giver and sustainer of life;

Merciful and loving beyond our comprehension

Patient, gentle and kind;

The giver of rest.

Powerful, strong and just

Invincible, omnipotent and strong;

Defender and avenger

Redeemer and deliverer

The lamb upon the throne,

Who suffered and died for us

Bearing our sins in his body

So we can live,

Who rose again victorious

The conqueror over sin and death

Who was and is and is to come,

Ever living – our God

 

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Construction site

Lord, I am your construction site

You have said you will rebuild me

But right now it seems such a mess

Of rubble, dust and debris,

You have a masterplan for me

You are the great designer

So I will wait here patiently

Into your hands I surrender. 

It seems a long hard road to walk

As slowly you reveal things,

Or is it just my heart that’s slow?

To grasp and understand this

Lord, build me up, create in me

A heart where you can dwell

You are the master builder Lord

And you do all things well

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank goodness God is greater

You  are greater

 

O Lord, be greater than me:

Greater than my depression,

Which often overwhelms me

Greater than my fear,

Which cripples me

Greater than my understanding,

Which limits me

You are greater Lord

Greater than my condemning heart

Your love is greater Lord

Than my ability to receive it

Your mercy is greater Lord

Than my unworthiness

Lord, in your greatness

Surround and fill me

In your greatness

O Lord, be my God.

Thank you Lord that you are

Greater than my heart

 To be a butterfly 

Just a glimpse, Lord

Of what it would be like

To be free of depression

To be a butterfly

Not to be struggling, Lord

With this heavy heart

What would it feel like?

To have a happy heart

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I want to see you near 

Jesus, I want to see you near

I want to feel your touch;

I want to know that you are real

I need you Lord so much.

Not just imagine an idea

Or make up words from you,

Not dream and wish and hope in vain,

I want to know you’re true.

Please walk beside me Lord I pray

Be all around me too,

Please fill my heart, my mind, my life

Help me to live with you.

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Thank you 

We come to you with all our needs

Thank you Lord for hearing

We come to you with hurting hearts

Thank you Lord for healing

We come to you in all our sin

Thank you for forgiving

We come to you unworthily

Thank you Lord for loving 

Thank you for your patience

Thank you for your grace

Thank you Lord for answered prayers

Thanks for your safe embrace

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Morning thoughts

Mornings

 

The morning comes, I wake from busy dreams

And with the morning I recognise futility

I don’t want to start another day

Heaviness clouds my heart and mind

Tears of desperation flow.

Morning is when I want to run away

To give up, disappear and hide

Not face up to another day,

I have no purpose, all hope feels lost

I am useless, a burden – I would be no loss.

So I fall to my knees again in tears of despair

And I turn to your Word again, to find some hope there.

I quietly sit in tears at your feet

Broken, defeated at your mercy seat

And it’s there that I find the strength to go on

My hand in yours, you can lead because you are strong

 

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Speak to my heart again

 

 

Lord speak to my heart again

May I hear your gentle whisper

Let me understand once more

Your words of life and love and hope

Quieten down my fretful heart Lord

Still the worries and the fears,

Open up my understanding

So I can hear your voice again. 

May your spirit come and fill me

Write your will upon my heart,

Shine through the cracks and flaws Lord

Guide me always by your love.

Help me put my trust in you Lord

Know you hold me by the hand,

Let me follow where your lead Lord

My life is under your command. 

Teach me, heal me, keep and guide me

For I’m often prone to stray

Keep my feet upon your path Lord

Hold me firmly in your way.

 

 

A cry from my heart and a promise from God

Just a couple more poems from me.

I cry out again 

Lord, I’m scared

I’m paralysed with fear

All hope has fled

All joy has vanished.

I cry out to you again.

Oh Lord please hear me

Forgive me, cleanse me

Have your victory

Restore my soul

Lead me in your way

Please take my hand

Strengthen my feeble heart

Guide me, Lord, I pray.

For you alone are God

You have all power

The victory is yours

Do not abandon me I pray.

 

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His promise

I will shelter and protect you

I will never fail you

This is my promise to you.

Though you feel you are failing

My arms will support you

My strength will sustain you,

My child, do not fret or worry

I know you through and through

I will be with you

I will have the victory

I will not leave.

Be strong in me when you have no strength

Be secure in me when you are feeling weak

Be safe in me when the storm surrounds

Be at peace in me when your are troubled

For I am here beside you

I love you my child

Be still, be sure, be strong

He will have the victory

Ref Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight

 

 

He will have the victory

 

He will have the victory

In your troubled heart

His hand can move the nations

Trust Him for your small part

 

He’s promised not to leave you

His love is ever true

Although you feel you’re failing

His arms will uplift you

 

Surrender now your burdens

Submit to His good will

Let go of that which troubles

Breathe deeply and be still

 

For God is strong and able

He knows the path ahead

He’s promised He will lead you

You’ll be safe where He has led

 

 

 

from a place of weakness

The last couple of weeks have been a struggle with the Black Dog of depression. As I struggle to cope with some hurts. It has been a battle. The following are some thoughts/prayers from this time

From a place of weakness

I am weak and feeling faint

Failed again to stand against

The onslaught of the enemy 

Child be still I am with you

I will never fail or forsake you

I The Lord, your shepherd

Have the victory in hand 

Lord I feel I am failing you

With each new struggle

As sin binds my feet and hands

And throws me headlong in the pit 

I will rescue you my child

Sin cannot, will not, defeat you

I am by your side my child

I will not, have not, I will not leave you! 

Lord I submit again to you

Have your victory in my life

I surrender once again

Please lead and help

Direct my life.

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Have your victory

Have your victory in my life

Help me surrender it to you,

Please free me from the sin which binds

Please guide me, help me, oh my Lord

Because I’m weak and I have fallen

And I cannot see the way

My own sin clouds out my vision

But you Lord, you can show the way,

I really really need your help here

I need to see your loving face

To hear your words, know your direction

Lord rescue me for your name’s sake

struggles with the black dog and God's encouragements

Here are a couple of poems from my heart as I continue to struggle with the black dog of depression and with feelings of uselessness.
Crumbs that sounds inviting doesn't it!!!! but hopefully someone will read these somewhere and know that God won't abandon you, he understands and even when you may feel unlovely and unlovable he still loves you, you belong to him and even when you can't see it for yourself in his eyes you are valuable and have worth.

Do I have a place?

Is there a place for me here Lord?

For the person that I am,

I’m not an extrovert at all

I’m probably not much fun.

It’s not my way to jump and sing

I’d rather quietly pray,

I’m not so good at speaking out

But can you use me somehow, someway?

I feel I’m really not much use

That there’s not a place for me

The others seem to blaze with light

While I flicker weakly here

Yet you will not quench this flickering wick

I read that in your word,

You won’t snuff out my little flame

So into your hands I commit again.

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The Black dog

The black dog of depression

Hangs like a lead weight on my heart

Even times of happiness

Can feel it dragging me apart,

It cripples me, it holds me back

It taints my every thought,

It wearies me with each attack

Traps and drags – again I’m caught

I long to run away from it

And reinvent myself

I long to be free of this pain,

Oh Lord, please heal my heart

His encouragement

The Lord will not leave me to be devoured

He will rescue me, he is here.

He will replace my weeping with his joy

He will bring light to the darkness in my heart

He won’t abandon or leave me.

He is my shepherd, I’m in his flock

I belong to him, he won’t abandon me.

Thank you Lord that your rod and staff

Still comfort me in dark valleys

I will wait for you Lord, for your timing

You will not forsake or leave me.

 

The Good Shepherd

The Good Shepherd

 

The sheep was bleeding badly

A torn and bloodied lamb

A broken battered lump of wool

Was in the Shepherds hands,

It didn’t look worth saving

Didn’t seem much worth the time,

But the Shepherd gently held it

In His arms, with love divine

Because this tattered and torn lamb

Was His, He said “You’re mine!”

“I’ve brought you with a mighty price”

“And I know which sheep are mine”

“I never will forsake you”

“or leave you bleeding out of sight”

“I will not lose one of my flock”

“You won’t be left behind!”

Hold Your Head Up

I struggle often with putting myself down, not being all that nice to myself. I was brought up on the concept of not thinking too highly of yourself, and consequently find it hard to acknowledge if I have ever done anything good.

 

 I was having a conversation with a good friend the other day along these lines, and how it is not 'prideful' to be proud of your achievements, especially when it is God who gives us the abilities and gifts we have. Also was thinking of the words in Psalm 115:1 which says:

"Not to us, O Lord, not to us but to your name be the glory, because of your love and faithfulness"

 

The following poem is the fruits of these thoughts.

 

Hold your head up 

Lift your eyes a bit my child

Hold your head up high

For I have given you this gift

And the glory is all mine

It isn’t pride if you just smile

Enjoying what you do

It isn’t pride to take delight

In what I do through you

Stop hiding in the shadows child

And use what I provide

I sing with joy and love for you,

My child, you’re my delight.

So don’t apologise again

Because you’ve done some good

Rejoice with me, come smile and sing

I am your loving God.

A time of waiting

Waiting 

Waiting here in the stillness

Lord, I’m waiting here where it’s quiet.

Unsure of the direction

Of where I’m heading with my life.

I commit again Lord

Commit myself into your hands,

Hanging on to your promise

That you have a purpose and a plan,

Not sure what I am to do Lord

So I’ll wait here for a while,

Maybe this is the destination

So I will wait here at your side.

A time of changes

Right now I am in the midst of a time of change, one job is over after quite a few years, and I am not sure where or what I am going to do next. I know God has a plan for me, and if I stay within his plan I need not be afraid as his plans are never to harm or destroy. He will provide for me. I worry that I will somehow miss what I should be doing or take a wrong turn, so each day (and frequently throughout the day) I have to commit myself into his hands, and just wait on Him. The following three poems are a glimpse into where my heart is at the moment, with all my failure and weakness. They are in some ways a bit raw and not highly refined but they come from my heart.

 

Where are you leading me? 

Sometimes Lord it seems very dark

I don’t know where you are leading me.

I feel I am failing at every turn

Just groping blindly all around me,

I am afraid I will take a wrong turn

Or somehow wander from your plan

Yet I cannot see what plan it is

Or fathom where you’ll take me

Do you have a plan for me? I ask Lord

And I am not just hoping in vain

It’s just I cannot see the answers

Lord, I cannot see the way.

Forgive me for my weakness, my failures

Forgive me when doubts come my way

Please fulfil your purpose for me

And hold me close to you I pray.

Let me hear the words you have for me

Please give me a glimpse of your face

Oh Lord please somehow reassure me

That I am truly yours I pray 

As long as you do all the leading

I know I can trust you with my days

 

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Why do you weep? 

The morning breaks and my heart awakes

I see a new day stretch before me 

Oh feeble fragile heart, why do you weep? 

The future is unknown and fear creeps in

My heart longs to hide again in night-time 

Oh feeble fragile heart, why do you weep? 

So I fall again to my knees Lord

To commit myself to you

To place this feeble fragile heart

Again into your hands Lord,

Once more I look to you for help

Your strength and promises are sure

So feeble fragile heart don’t weep

The loving God holds you secure

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His words to a troubled heart 

Troubled heart come rest in me

Come wait on me today

Be still, stop restless wandering                                                           

Come hear my word today.

I am right here beside you child

I will not move away

Come rest, come trust, come wait on me

Be still my child I say.

I am your God, and I am strong

The victory is mine

So do not fear what lies ahead

The plan is my design,

I see you weep, I count your tears

I love you child of mine.

Caught in a storm

Caught in a storm

 

Caught up in a vortex of emotion,

Reality and firm ground wavering

Floundering amidst the swirling tide

My feet unable to find firm ground

Lord don’t lose me in this whirlpool

As confusion and grief surround,

Please keep your hand of power upon me

Stop me from drowning in this storm.

Calm the wind and waves of my emotions

Bring me through to solid ground.

I am crying out to you, come save me

Steer my course, direct my ways

I’m pleading Lord, help me to see you

Feel your presence, hear your voice

I lift my arms out to be rescued

I’m trusting you’ll not let me drown